this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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