Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
