last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
