Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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