Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
