How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
