Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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