Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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