Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Randomize
