cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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