what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
