so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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