You made me cry and you don't even care
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
