If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
