maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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