I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
