Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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