I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
