Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
