i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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