so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
please come you make the beer taste better
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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