where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
