there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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