brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
