Don't you send me to vm
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
