Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
