i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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