Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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