His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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