Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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