Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
