I haven't been this sober since birth.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
