So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
