dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
