It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
