i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
