he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
