Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Two words: nipple clamps
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