You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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