I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
