she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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