they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
