you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
