SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
