fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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