Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
