We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm so fucking centered right now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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