Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
