We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
