I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
