Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
