My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
