absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
