Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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