A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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