its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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