so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
