If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
