I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
