the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
