Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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