If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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